To Realize How Far We Have Come, We Must Remember Where We Have Been

 

Today I went clothes shopping for an outfit to wear 

to my daughter's Graduation, that would also work 

as a professional Interview Outfit.  

I walked away empty handed.

For once, the clothes FIT.  AND the top was a size 14/16!! 

Putting it on felt A-MAZING! 

Then I looked into the full length mirror....

It just didn't look good on me.

I left feeling disappointed.

I've lost 67 pounds, and yet, I still can't 

find anything that will look decent on me.

But then I remember back to being in that SAME 

dressing room, trying on size 26 clothes and

they were TOO TIGHT!! 

I may not be satisfied now, or able to find

clothes that look "cute" on me.....

But I'm definitely heading in the right direction.

I guess sometimes to realize how far we have come,

we have to remember where we have been...

The Power To Change

Happy Memorial Day 2014

MORNING NAKED WEIGH IN: WEEK 29

TOM came to visit this month, so I wasn't expecting much of a loss..... and didn't get one.

Loss for the week: .2 lbs

Total loss so far: 65.8 lbs

MORNING NAKED WEIGH IN: WEEK 27 AND WEEK 28

Week 27

Weigh in Results: +.8lbs

Total Loss So Far:  63.8

 

Week 28

Weigh in results: -1.8

Total Loss So Far:  65.6

Who Do I WANT To Be?

 Maybe it's part of getting older... or maybe it's a result of the surgery and the changes it has brought... but I find myself searching for who I AM.  Because honestly..... sometimes, I just don't know.  

 How much of my life has been wasted on "One Day...", "When I Lose Weight", "If I were skinny",  "If only".....   It feels like I've gone through life holding  down the "Pause" button, waiting for this or that to happen first.  But.... What would my life be like if there was NOTHING holding me back?   Not my weight, my self esteem, my insecurities... What if I didn't CARE what people thought of me?  What if I didn't have limitations on what I could  do.  What if I could go back to Graduation Day at high school, with my new sense of "Freedom", a little wiser than I was back then, carrying all the hope and belief that I did on that day of my future.  What would I choose to do? 

As I shed my excess pounds, I am also working on shedding all the other things that I have held on to that have kept me down. Because, let's face it, although my weight has made things more difficult for me... My weight isn't REALLY what has held me back all these years, but my own insecurities about it.  At social events I felt awkward, so I kept to myself.  I realize now that it wasn't THEM not talking to ME,  By staying off by myself, my entire body language was screaming BACK OFF.   When we went to the Lake, public pools, water parks, etc.  I could have gotten a bathing suit on and joined in. (Of course, I weighed too much for some of the water slides, but I could have joined in the Wave Pool and the Lazy River), but I was so embarrassed of my body, I refused to be seen in Public in a bathing suit.  So I wore Capri pants and a T Shirt over my swimsuit and stood around waiting at the end of each ride, sometimes for over an hour, for the my husband and kids to come out.  And it isn't my weight that has kept me from pursuing my dreams.... it's my fear of what others would think of them.   And now.... I've suppressed those dreams for SO LONG, I don't even know what they ARE anymore.   

THIS Sounds Like The Perfect Way to Spend Mother's Day.

More NSV's (Non Scale Victories)

This week I have been focusing on some of the "NSV's" I've noticed so far.   They are small things, but for those that are or have ever been morbidly obese..... you will understand.

1.   When I sit in my car, the steering wheel no longer rubs my stomach, and I don't have to have the seat ALL the way back anymore.  There is actually a gap now between my stomach and the steering wheel.

2.  I can now fold my hands in my lap when I'm sitting.  Before I lost weight, I had a hard time trying to figure out what to do with my hands and my arms if there was no arm rests.   I was too big around to clasp my fingers and I had NO LAP whatsoever.  My stomach rested on the tops of my legs.  I now have a lap and can comfortably sit in the chairs at my daughters cheer practice and not even THINK about what my arms are doing. 

3.  I can now bend over and pick something up off the floor.  Even small items.

4.  I can put my socks and shoes on and not feel like I have just run a marathon.

Fitspiration

I may be crawling at a Turtle's pace....... but I'm getting there.

MORNING NAKED WEIGH IN: WEEKS 24-26

 Week 24

 Week 25

 Week 26

I haven't posted in a while...... It has been crazy busy around here.  Above are my Weekly Weigh In's for Weeks 24-26.  Total loss so far: 64.6 Pounds!